Egg-n-Bread

"This is it. Don't get scared now." That's one of my favorite quotes from the movie 'Home Alone'. It pretty much sums up my thoughts at the moment. I have something going on every single day from now until June 6th. Yard sale this weekend, Memorial Day, dentist appointments next week, last day of school, and then I'm leaving Thursday for the pageant. That's when the fun begins.

"Overwhelmed" would be an understatement. I've had some good days and some bad days. But the closer I get to the "big day", the less I see of the good ones. I've had days this week where every single thing was making me cry. And for no reason too. I have mentioned before that this must be the "darkest before the dawn" part, but I didn't realize the "dark" would get even worse than it had already been.

Let's see. Phillip knocked out a tooth. I almost broke my toe and was unable to walk without a limp for about a week. I got pink-eye. David got chicken pox -- a very bad case of it I might add. Stevie now has chicken pox after having been vaccinated for it. I've had migraines off and on. There have been too many things happening for the past few weeks. I'm ready for it all to be over.

"I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus." -- Philippians 3:14

Pancakes!!!

I was jumping up and down this morning telling Alissa, "It's less than three weeks! Less than three weeks! Which is basically two weeks because I'm leaving on Thursday!" :D I am getting so very excited.

And don't I have a reason to be? I mean all this hard work is certainly going to pay off. I think it's worth it just to have a day where I get to dress up, look pretty and keep smiling. :D

I think I've been worrying a bit too much lately. And yes, I have a reason to worry, but I don't really need to do it. Everything is in the Lord's hands. And the outcome will be what it will be no matter what I 'do or do not' beforehand in preparation.

With that being said, It's less than three weeks!!! Less than three weeks!!! Basically two weeks because I'm going down there two days before the pageant!!! :D

Eggs of Insomnia

As I lay here unable to sleep, I ponder what it is that will happen to me in the next few weeks. My mind is racing. Only 22 days remain until this huge thing that I have been preparing for will actually take place. I love the anticipation. I love the thought of doing it. I even love the fear I feel inside me for even considering this in the first place. Most of all I love my Savior for giving me this opportunity.

I've been drawn to the story of Esther recently. I even read it to my Sunday School class which is composed of three 16 year old girls. They were mesmerized by it. But what had drawn me to it was the girl, Esther. Here she was, a plain Jewish girl, unmarried, an orphan. And yet God had huge plans for her. He asked her to go somewhere she had never been. She had to stay there for a year to complete certain customs before she was brought before the king. And when she was brought before the king, her amazing beauty pleased him and he put the crown upon her head and made her his queen.

God had given her this beauty so that she could be placed where He needed her to be. A wicked man named Haman had plotted to kill all the Jews. She needed to be in a position that would give her the opportunity to speak directly to the king to keep Haman's plot from coming about. And we all know her famous words "if I perish, I perish." She said this because the king had the power to kill anyone who came before him unannounced or without being invited. She knew she was possibly walking into her own coffin when she went before the king.

I may never know how much courage it actually took for Esther to walk into the king's court and wait for his approval or disapproval. I mean, I'm not going to be killed for doing this pageant. But I'm starting to feel the courage it takes to step out completely on faith to do something the Lord has asked of me.

My mind truly is racing. "Will I be able to answer all the questions?" "Will I be relaxed enough to handle the interviews?" "Or will I choke or freeze when I can't think of an answer?" Well... you know what? ... If I perish, I perish. The outcome of this event is not what matters. What matters is that I am doing it. And I am doing it for the right reason.

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer." -- Psalm 19:14

That verse has been stuck in my head since before I even started typing. It is the prayer I will be praying the very night of my big event.

Sometimes I like oatmeal... nice, healthy oatmeal

My husband and I were married on May 6th in 1995. We're celebrating our 15th year of marriage today.

What a day to feel absolutely horrible. I have had pink-eye since Tuesday and even though the doctor gave me medicine for it, it doesn't seem to be getting any better. I'm missing the National Day of Prayer celebration at the Municipal Building today. And I'm pretty sure David went to work with a fever. I'm glad we at least were able to go out to eat yesterday while he was off work.

On top of the pink-eye, I re-injured my toe that was almost completely better. I tripped over the vacuum cleaner in the hallway while trying to chase the dog that refused to do what I said. So it's back to limping a little bit.

I keep wondering why everything keeps going wrong. I have come to the conclusion that the Lord is trying his hardest to say, "Rachel, slow down for just a minute. Rest in Me. I have everything under control. Why are you trying to do it all yourself?" And why would I try to do anything myself? Without Him I am destined to fail. Without Him my efforts are fruitless. Without Him I am completely worthless. He has provided absolutely everything I need so far! Do you know how hard it is to find the perfect Interview Suit, the perfect Swimsuit, and the perfect Evening Gown? He has miraculously provided all of this for me.

I don't know if anyone realizes this, but it's only 30 days until the Mrs. Arkansas pageant!!! Actually only 28 days until I leave for the pageant! It will be upon us before we know it. I'm getting so anxious and nervous and excited and a little scared and probably every other emotion of which you can imagine.

Well, now that we've established how close it is to the pageant, I need to get down to business. I need about $700 for the rest of my expenses. We will be having a fundraiser on Friday May 21st and Saturday May 22nd. It will be a yard sale at our house. I will possibly be selling buttons and autographs and Alissa should be selling cookies and drinks. There might even be face-painting. We'll get all that straightened out pretty soon and can let you know more details later.

This must be the bacon... because it sizzles.

I have an evening gown! :D I am so very excited. It's like a huge weight has been lifted. It has been so hard to find a dress.

I'm 5'9" and apparently that's just tall enough to be too tall for regular sizes. None of the dresses I had tried on before this one had really jumped out at me. And believe me, I have tried some beautiful dresses. Even the ones that were long enough didn't really give me that good feeling inside. They were just kinda, "Yeah. That looks nice."

But this one? Wow. The most surprising thing is that I would never have picked this dress if I had seen it hanging. The lady at the shop where I got it, just pulled out some dresses that were my size and this was one of them. She said, "You may not like this one, but you could try it just to see how it fits since it is really long and it's in your size." I thought the dress was a little weird actually. But when I walked out of the dressing room and onto the little platform out into the lights, I had a much different feeling. It was the perfect color, the perfect shape, with just enough sparkle to grab your attention. I felt like I had found the dress I was looking for. And it looked nothing like I had imagined.

Why Eggs?

I'm wondering now why I waited so long to start an official blog. I have always enjoyed writing. But now it's like I have an 'official' purpose for doing so. And I have an official 'editor in chief' which makes it even better. She can proofread anything for me. I write well, but she makes my 'well' sound 'excellent'.

For now I hope this blog serves its purpose. I plan to write about my thoughts and experiences as I go into this final stretch toward the Mrs. Arkansas America Pageant on June 5th, 2010. Wow. That's only in like four and a half weeks. (Yikes!)